My post of last night got me thinking. My first intention of this blog was posting some technical stuff. As I am not the greatest programmer / system administrator / IT guru this world has to offer, this would be more of a notes-to-self endeavor than anything else.
On the other hand I have been struggling with “mental illness” most of my adult life. This subject is shunned and frowned upon a lot. But this is something I’m learning to deal with more and more. My personal journey and daily struggles could be a lot more interesting to a reader.
So I decided to focus my posts on this topic. I will be talking about medication, mental health care, ways I try to cope. Success and failure. That kind of stuff. Hope some one could one day benefit from my story. To be continued!
It has been a while (besides my recent post on Outlook) that I have posted on my blog. I think I have found a way to do some more up-keep.
When I have had a busy day with a lot of interaction with people and information I find myself unable to sleep. It is almost 04.00 am right now and I am still awake. Instead of looking at the TV or mindlessly browsing the web, I decided I could write on my blog and let my thoughts flow in posts I make rambling about everything and nothing. As almost nobody reads my blog I don’t see the harm in this.
It is like there is something wrong with the way I process information (there really is I’m seeing a psychiatrist 🙂 ). When I’m presented with a lot of stimuli during the day I tend to get really active with a feeling of being in control. This feels great and induces more active behavior, which in turn causes more information to flow my way. This tends to get out of hand and my brain is left in a state of hyper activation. There is little that can get me to sleep when I am like this. It’s also pretty dangerous as I am prone to psychosis. Sleep-deprivation combined with a stressy “high-urgency I have to do things” state of mind is a big no-no.
So how do I prevent this from happening?
The key is prevention I think. Just keep a strict daily routine with lots of physical exercise to relieve the stressy feeling and keep the head clear. This is easier said than done, as the cycle of stress and stress seeking behavior is completely in my nature. Is it possible to make something such a strong habit by repetition that I can overpower this? Let’s try and see….
I had added a new imap account to my mailserver and I had bought a new phone. This phone (motorola g5s) comes pre-installed with the Outlook app made by microsoft as an email client.
As I am lazy by nature I did not want to install an extra email client, so I decided to add my imap account to the Outlook app. Checking the logs of my mailserver, I saw an incoming connection that was authenticating succesfully using my credentials. But the connection did not originate from my IP! I was using the ip address 94.xxx.xxx.xxx and the client connected from 52.xxx.xxx.xxx!
Microsoft is playing man in the middle and thus has acccess to all my mail in the imap account!
Nice one Microsoft. From now on I am only using Outlook for Microsoft mail accounts, as they have my authentication data for these already…..